One Mans Family: Script

ANNOUNCER: One Man's Family is dedicated to the Mothers and Fathers of the Younger Generation and to their Bewildering Offspring. Tonight we bring you Chapter Ten, Book Twenty-Three, entitled "Two Million Dollars At Stake."

Clifford and Ann are walking on air. Father and Mother Barbour have given them a round-trip ticket from San Francisco to Hong Kong on the China Clipper for their honeymoon! This happened last night at the engagement shower for the couple... and now the family is at breakfast....

FANNY: (Coming to Mike) Now Clifford, eat your breakfast like a normal human being....

CLIFF: But Mom, Dad says the Clipper Ship crosses the Equator on the way to Hong Kong, and it doesn't at all.

HENRY: Certainly you cross the Equator....

CLIFF: No Dad-

FANNY: Are you going to eat your bacon and eggs?

CLAUDIA: What's bacon and eggs in Cliffs young life?

FANNY: Well if I'd known what a goose he was going to be, I'd have put my foot down when your father wanted to buy the tickets....

HAZEL: He hasn't talked about anything else....

CLIFF: But you folks don't get it. . . Ann and I are going to fly the Pacific Ocean.. . (Laughter)

JACK: (Bored) Sure we got it... You're going to fly the Pacific (Laughter)

FANNY: Clifford, where are you going?

CLiFF: (Leaving Mike) I just want to get the globe.

CLAUDIA: (Laughs) Crazy as a loon.

FANNY: Such a business. He's more excited about that trip than about getting married.

HAZEL: (Amused) They both are. Ann was so excited before she left last night she was ill....

HENRY: Well their excitement is infectious. . . . I don't know when I've enjoyed giving a present so much....

FANNY: Well it should have worn off a little by this morning I'm going to be worn to a frazzle if this hilarity keeps up....

CLIFF: (Coming to Mike) Here you are Dad. It's just as I said. We don't cross the Equator.

FANNY: Clifford, your breakfast is stone cold....

CLIFF: You see, this is Midway and this is Wake.

FANNY: Humph.... Look like fly-specks to me.... (Laughter)

-- Excerpt from script

(Source = One Mans Family)

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